just tell him i said nine months
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
