she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
