so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
