Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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