i was born a porn star she said
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
