Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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