1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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