Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
