we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
