I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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