So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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