Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
