Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
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