Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
