i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
