so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
