I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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