All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The air was thick with penises
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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