Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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