What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
