Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
