worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
