i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
