New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
