ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
