i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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