i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
