matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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