Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
