YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
