She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
