I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
