8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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