New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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