help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
