Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
