I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
