just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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