he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
