Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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