Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
