office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
