is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
