Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just tell him i said nine months
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
