is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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