so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
