Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
