I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
