He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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