she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
